I Thinketh Random Thoughts

i'm still getting sharp pains in my left hip, but i've decided to go Kahlo-esque and live with the pain.

pain? i've been in pain so long i've forgotten what it felt like before the pain.

nobody really knows how to react when i tell them about the accident, and the constant pain. even now, when my parents ask if i still hurt, i say i'm fine, just close the case already and sue the fellow. i don't really want to go back to physiotherapy because it really really hurts.

but now it seems the pains have gotten much worse, because i haven't been going back to physiotherapy for over a month. maybe i should go back, at least once more. right. i shall book an appointment with simone next week, have my bones cracked a little.

although paul the osteopath was really good-looking, it still disturbs me to have to strip down to my underwear and have to subject myself to his bone-setting, and because of the nature of my injuries he has to touch some really awkward places. so well, i'm glad that part's over and i don't have to see him again.

i'm really tired from work. i hope i get my paycheck soon. i don't really care if i'm not paid overtime, as long as i get some money. then i can hoard it. yup. i'm a hoarder. i still haven't spent the $150 i earned from singing at the YRC. it's still in the same envelope, in the same drawer. i just like to take it out and look at the crisp notes.

penpals...i wonder how Matt's doing? he was my penpal back in 2001, we wrote to each other religiously for over a year, then he went into the US Marines and went to Iraq, so i don't know if he still exists any more. i quite liked him; we were both kind of dorky, and he's a total nerd who's homeschooled and sort-of redneck. but he's pretty intelligent. so i hope he's okay and still alive.

my godmother still writes to her penpal, who's in new zealand, and they've been writing to each other for over 30 years. and they are really the traditional kind of penpals too, as in, they still use snailmail (yeah, when i say penpal i really mean email-pal), handwrite their letters, include recipes, children's photos and all that sentimental emotional things. it's really sweet. my mother said she used to have a penpal back in her teens, a wheelchair-bound british girl, but she grew tired of writing and they lost contact.

i still think of Stascia. i guess i really liked her. i haven't been to rehearsals for a long time. but i think that when i return to the stage, with him around, all thoughts of all others would disappear, and once again his genius would drown out all other sounds, around me, and in my heart.