Rageth Within

i don't want people to treat me like an invalid. i'm not. i'm not ultra-fragile, or that i might collapse under my own weight any time. you don't have to talk around me in hushed tones whenever the subject comes up, or try to console me.

just because i have some problems with my body doesn't make me something else.

please don't look at me with such horrified faces.

i get hurt if you call me "accident girl". i don't use it as an excuse for not doing some things. and if i do tell people what happened, it doesn't help if you say, "oh, talking about it AGAIN?"

it's not up to you to say that. you're not the one who had this happen to you. you're not the one who has to wonder if any other things have been damaged in the process.

there is a reason why i don't tell people. and there is a reason why i do tell people, sometimes. it's not up to any of you to decide who and when i say it.

it is precisely because of such people like you that i refuse to tell anyone the extent of my injuries.

on a separate note:

if you say you're going to be doing something, DO IT. because i am going to assume that you hold it true to your word and not question it. then when i realize that you didn't do what you proposed to, don't fucking turn my word around and blame me. you said that you were going to do it, so why are you blaming me for trusting you? this was not the first time you've done it.

i am so angry for being angry at myself for being angry at you because i do not know who is at fault here anymore and you make it appear as it is all mine.