Mine Herte's Melody

No one would listen
No one but her
Hear as the outcast hears

Shamed into solitude
Shunned by the multitude
I learned to listen
In my dark, my heart heard music

I long to teach the world
Rise up and reach the world
No one would listen
I alone could hear the music

Then at last, a voice in the gloom
Seemed to cry, "I hear you!
I hear your fears,
Your torment and your tears!"

She saw my loneliness
Shared in my emptiness
No one would listen
No one but her
Heard as the outcast hears

No one would listen
No one but her
Heard as the outcast hears...

- gerald butler as phantom, "No One Would Listen"

Thou Shalt Not Waite Long

one day, when i am rich and famous, i shall commission Nicola Constantino to make me a corset gown cast with my own nipples all over, and i shall wear it for red carpet events.

i shall purchase Frida Kahlo's A Broken Column and Love Embrace of the Universe and hang them in the living room of my Bohemian-chic Paris townhouse.

i shall have an antique carved harpsicord, an ornate Beirut-made harp and a set of ancient Zulu drums as grace notes to my drawing room.

i shall have gold fixtures and turquoise tiles and Babylonian-inspired wall friezes in my bathroom.

i shall drive a ginormous Porsche handpainted with Pre-Raphaelite references.

ah, when i am rich and famous.

SHITE HATH LANDETH!!

god gives me an opportunity, and i screw it up by shutting up. why, Zoot, why? why can't i just say something like, "i think you've got cool hair?" or "would you like a head massage?" or even "shall we play punch-u punch-me?"

but i HAD to shut up and keep quiet.

i am PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!

He Doth Not Seeketh Me

When he passes me by
He's a ray of light
Like the first drop of sun
From the sky
And I know he's a king
Who deserves a queen
But I'm not a queen
And he doesn't see me

When he dances
He moves me to a smile
And I see everything
Near him shine
There's a grace in his ways
That I can't contain
I haven't that grace
Oh, I haven't that grace

And the closer he gets
I can't help but hide
So ashamed
Of my body and voice
There are boundaries
We pass in spite of the war
But our own
We can't seem to cross

She has a way that surrounds her
So delicate
With a glory that reigns in her life
She is also so much that she is not
These things I can't see
'Cause he doesn't see me
Oh... And he doesn't see me

There are things we can change
If we just choose to fight
But the walls of injustice are high

When he passes me by
He's a ray of light
Like the first drop of sun
From the sky
And I know he's a king
Who deserves a queen
Someone other than me
So different from me

--sarah brightman, He Doesn't See Me

I Hath Moveth

new house has nice view out of window, really like another country. room looks like shit now cos boxes all over the place.

feel really lonely due to confinement. miss civilization. can't wait to see him again and then break my heart cos he doesn't even know i exist.

proof: concert day he kept looking at my direction. then he came over, walked past me to the lady behind me, and said, "you were trying to tell me something?"

see? he wasn't looking at me at all. sad, right? me, reduced to wallpaper.

sigh.

Aspiration: Meet Someone New. +1000.